There’s more to it than you think
Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes. In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of.
First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked. This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant. If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results.
This is where you give a little and take a little.
In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:. It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula. You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it. This is where you seal it.
You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back. My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest. She is on that site to meet someone great and that just might be you.
Examples of good first messages on dating sites – St. Mark's Episcopal Church
Now that you have given her every reason to reply you tell her exactly what you want her to do. If you can get her to take the big step of messaging you back your odds have already increased tremendously. I knew that would get your attention! I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic french croissant.
I just got back from a life changing two week scuba retreat in Belize.
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I think we would have a lot of fun together even if you are going to be mopey the whole night after I kick your butt in ping pong. Message women when they are more likely to be online. If you see she was last online at 8: You want to be at the very top of her inbox when she logs in.
Again I want to reiterate that this is a general first message online dating formula and should be tailored to your needs and experience. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.
A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening.
It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.
Exactly What To Say In A First Message
These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Written by Christian Rudder.